Do you agree that I end this?

First...it's clear that you are under a lot of pressure. Secondly I wonder if this is the appropriate forum for this kind of question. The depth and detail which need to be looked at really do not lend themselves to a forum like this. It seems that there is a real problem in your marriage and this needs to be addressed. The specifics of how to address it, how to deal with the potential impact on your children really can't be answered here. I encourage you to find a close friend, a teacher or a mentor (someone you trust and respect) and have the conversation(s). Hope this encourages you in a direction that will be helpful.